Why Bill Simmons continues to hold Most Readable Sportswriter title

Some good Page 2:

HERM EDWARDS (-3) over the Unintentional Comedy Scale
Did you see the Hermster in the locker room after K.C.'s upset of Denver? If you missed it and want to get a feeling for what happened, scream the next two sentences at the top of your lungs and see how everyone else at work reacts ...

"Let's build on that! LET'S BUILD ON THAT!!!!!!"

THE IHOP ON SUNSET & MANSFIELD (+9) over the IHOPs everywhere else in Los Angeles
Right now, I'm writing this column and eating corn pancakes at -- you guessed it! -- the IHOP on Sunset and Mansfield. Two strippers are sitting 10 feet away from me, discussing their next month of gigs and occasionally sneaking me those "If you have enough money on you right now, we might add you to the list of gigs" looks. A group of five hungover guys in their 20s are sitting behind me and recapping last night on the town, which included a bedroom story so over the top that I don't think I could have even printed it on my old Web site. Two tables over, an old lady complained that she ate too much and started coughing/retching, then her nurse provided her a plastic bag and the old lady threw up in it for three solid minutes. If that's not enough, "Even the Nights Are Better" by Air Supply is playing on the jukebox. Top that, every other IHOP in L.A.! Let's build on that! LET'S BUILD ON THAT!!!!!!"

Also, I like the idea of going to an IHOP in LA and being like, "Dude, is that Bill Simmons writing a column? Hey Bill, fuck the Celtics!" It would be great.