A taste of what the Chinese government has to offer

Reading a story about European protests against China--and the Chinese government's reaction--really shows just how petty and silly oppressive regimes are when you get right down to it. Here is China getting all huffy about the torch:

"We express our strong condemnation of the deliberate disruption of the Olympic torch relay by 'Tibetan independence' separatist forces, who gave no thought to the Olympic spirit or the laws of Britain and France," Foreign Ministry spokeswoman Jiang Yu said in a statement posted at www.fmprc.gov.cn.

"Their despicable activities tarnish the lofty Olympic spirit."

I would hate to go to China's house for a party and accidentally knock over a lamp. I would probably be strongly condemned and then told that my despicable party foul tarnished the lofty spirit of the party.

Of course, China also tried to distort reality, but it's kind of quaint to watch them try to pull the wool over the eyes of a non-Chinese audience. Don't they know their powers don't work here?

Officials in Paris on Monday were forced to extinguish the Olympic flame and carry it by bus when anti-China protesters tried to seize it....

Jiang also took issue with reports that said officials in Paris were forced to extinguish the flame, saying the relay was temporarily changed there to safeguard the security of the torch.

"The reports by foreign media are false in claiming that the Olympic torch was forced to be extinguished during its relay in Paris," she said.

God forbid the people of China--full-grown adults, mind you--discover the awful, terrible truth--that the Olympic flame went out. Why, if word of this got out, the very nation could crumble and fall within a fortnight.

All this just makes me doubly-glad I live here in America, where--thanks to freedom--the government can't get away with telling bald-faced empirical lies to the public. Well, maybe trivial things will slip through once in a while, like one politician's exaggerated anecdote about being subjected to sniperfire ten years ago--but for the really big and important things, we are a well-honed skeptical machine of fact-checking and cross-examination. No empirical falsehood gets by us when it comes to the serious stuff.

Wait--oh right. Fuck.