Adventures in corporate communication

Here is an email I just sent off to Virgin Atlantic:

******************************

*******
* VIRGIN ATLANTIC GENERAL ENQUIRY *
*************************************

Details

Flying club number:
Name : David Morris
Email :
Address :

City :
County :
Postcode: 94110
Country : US

Enquiry Type: Flight Info/Reservations

Flight Number: None
Flight Date : -1/None/-1

Feedback:

Very frustrated here.

I'm trying to change the date of my flight. Apparently, according to the FAQ, you can only do that over the phone. I waited on hold for 30 mins. calling the American number; I tried calling the UK number but I guess my phone can't make international calls.

Anyway, my confirmation number is XXXXXX. I'm flying roundtrip from SFO to Heathrow. I need to change the return flight from May 30 to Sunday May 23. Ideally I'd also like to change the outgoing city from London to Dublin, but if that's not possible/too expensive then I'll just settle for flying out of Heathrow on May 23.

Well, that's all I'm trying to do. I heard Virgin Atlantic is supposed to be super awesome and modern but so far it's been like trying to settle a dispute with the phone company (I don't know how phone companies are in the UK--hell you probably don't even call them phones over there, you probably call them something weird like 'bothams'--or no we need an extraneous 'u' in there, so let's make it 'bouthams'--but here in the US they are not known for their customer service savvy).

Ha--ok, enough of me. I've had a long day. I hope you can help me out.

Hey here's a joke to lighten the mood: what do you call a pig who can only see out of one eye? Give up? Well, you shouldn't give up. Quitter.

That's the joke. It's not very good because I made it up AS I WAS TYPING IT.

Thanks,
David

PS: Stay real. You know what I mean? Stay YOU. Yeah you know what I'm talkin about.

I'll let y'all know what ends up happening.

The size of food portions in depictions of the Last Supper over the centuries

This is pretty rad:

My brother—a religious studies professor at Virginia Wesleyan College—and I indexed the sizes of all of the entrees, loaves of bread, and even plates in the 52 most famous Last Supper paintings from the past millennium featured in Last Supper (2000, Phaiden Press), based on the sizes of people's heads. Through plagues and potato famines, the average size of entrees increased by 69 percent, plates by 65 percent, and bread by 23 percent. (The only thing that didn't continually increase with time was the number of wine bottles on the table—that peaked in the apparently party-happy 16th century.)

The idea is that, since the kind and amount of food during the Last Supper is not specified anywhere, artists would insert whatever seemed natural to them in their culture and time period. So this would reflect humanity's growing bread basket...

Beatles observation

Here's a Beatles observation for you: anytime there is non-lyrical melodious filler, you can be sure it's Paul, and never John. Any whistling, or "doo do doo", or humming--always Paul. I don't think there's even one instance of John doing this (or George, but I'm not as sure about that).

Examples:

• Mother Nature's Son ("doo do doo do doo do...")
• Your Mother Should Know ("da da da..")
  
• Fool On the Hill (instrumental verse; "oh oh oh ohhhhhh round round round...")
• Hey Jude ("na na na na na na naaaaaaaaaaaa...")
• Rockey Raccoon ("da da dada da daaaa"; "do doo do do dooo do")
• Honey Pie (instrumental segment/"I like this kinda, kinda muuuuuusic"; "oh ho ho ho ho hoo ho")
• I Will (humming)

I'm sure there's lot of other examples.

Anyway, if someone knows of a John song (or John part of a song) with similar melodious filler, I'd like to hear it.

John Lennon orders sushi

Health care reform: see how you're affected

Input your insurance status, income, and marital status, and this handy tool will tell you how the new legislation affects you.

RIP Alex Chilton

I'd never explicitly heard of the Box Tops, but this song has been wending its way through my brain for the last couple of days:



I think as a rock n' roll pop song it's kind of perfect: 2 minutes. Catchy melody. Straightforward lyrics about some girl. Badass vocals.

Well, anyway. I think a bonus is that everyone looks pretty damn cool in the above video. GO 60s

Not since Bill Clinton's star appearance in NBA Jam has a president been more associated with the game of basketball

In all the hubbub about Obama being the first black president, you sometimes forget that he's also our first president who's into basketball:



Pretty rad. Politics aside, how fun would it be to play a pick-up game with this guy and, like, Reggie Love?

Quote of the day

"[Conservatives] have used a skepticism of change, to mask a defense of institutional evil." - TNC

Rainy day memories

I don't seem to be able to embed it, but here is one of my very favorite Sesame Street moments, where Oscar the Grouch recounts the time he first met Slimey on a rainy day in the park. Seems appropriate since we're coming to the end of the rainy season and all.

I'll also add that there's nothing like dozing off with a friend when it's pouring out and you're cozily tucked away somewhere. I remember when I was a kid and used to hang out with my grandpa a lot, that when it rained it would make a nice, loud sound on the corrugated aluminum overhang just outside, and we'd take afternoon naps like that. It was nice.

Bike news

Item 1: You've probably already heard this, but Google maps now has bicycle directions that take into account hills, bike paths, avoiding busy streets, etc. It doesn't work too well yet, though--for example, to get to work, it suggested a zigzag path down Ceasar Chavez, up Harrison, cutting across 22nd to Potrero, then on up to the Division/Townsend roundabout. But that's nutty! Caesar Chavez is a horrible and dangerous street to bike on, and you end up going right through an unnecessary hill. Which brings me to my second item.

Item 2: It turns out there's plans in the works to totally redo Caesar Chavez into a bikable, walkable, green non-hellscape! Currently there's 8 lanes: one parking lane on each side, and six traffic lanes in the middle (3 in each direction). The renovation will keep the parking lanes but add bike lanes and a 14-foot median strip with trees, leaving 4 total lanes for traffic. Once done, it will make that street look about a thousand times nicer.

Of course, if I had my druthers, if they're going to make the street walkable I'd also like to see more commercial frontage, especially since it's still in walking distance from BART (though just barely). It'd be great to see it take on more of a 24th St. character. But all in due time, I guess.

(Photo by Ian Sane)

Baseball and the law

Via Josh, an interesting article pointing out that it is far more accurate to say that a Supreme Court Justice is a commissioner of baseball, rather than an umpire:

The Supreme Court hears only a small number of cases. Most of its work consists of providing guidance to lower courts, rather than correcting all judicial errors on a case-by-case basis. Similarly, the Commissioner of Baseball relays instructions to the umpires regarding how to interpret the rules of Major League Baseball, rather than reviewing their every call.

In a related note, I always thought that it would be funny to try to change California's Three Strikes Law by way of changing the rules of baseball to increase the number of strikes needed for an out.

In yet another related note, baseball analogies are alive and well in our current political discourse. Here's Harry Reid, talking tough on filibuster reform:

For now, the process seems to be proceeding from the premise that Senate Democrats are fed up with the filibuster. "In baseball," Reid said in a clipped tone, "they used to have the spitball. It originally was used with discretion. But then the ball got wetter and wetter and wetter. So soon, they outlawed the spitball." The same, he said, had happened to the four-corner offense in basketball. "And just the way the spitball was abused in baseball and the four-corner offense was abused in basketball," Reid said, "Republicans have abused the filibuster."

What the hell is the "four-corner offense"?

A truly poignant moment

If you've got 6 minutes to spare, you might want to take a look at this old Colbert Report interview with one Neal Katyal, who is a lawyer who defended some Gitmo detainees in court. I only post it here because of this little moment at the end, where--since apparently Katyal helped Al Gore's side in the fateful Gore v. Bush case--Colbert asked him "how that went".

Katyal responds that he kicks himself, thinking that if only he had tried to help Bush, Gore might have become President. To me that was just so heart-rending. This is a guy who obviously loves his country and the fundamental principles its based on (what is this country based on?), and who feels like he failed his country as a defender of those principles.

I like to think it's this guy's extended o-face

Probably the best article ever

Oh man.

Favorite line: "...I even caught a hacker or two." It's like: wut

Via Sullivan.

A Captain and Tenille flame war for the ages

Of course, I fully realize that by the time you're reading a YouTube comments flame war, you really ought to have gone to sleep. But: in this one the stakes are so high:

Bag0fRats (2 months ago)

Toni Tenille now wears a calostmy bag, being a druggie is never smart

vicnored (3 weeks ago)

@Bag0fRats y do u know this

Bag0fRats (2 weeks ago)

@vicnored it's well known. Didn't ever hear of the concert she gave in the late 80s in LA when she dropped her colostomy bag on stage ?

InformingChristians (1 week ago)

That is not nice of you to spread falsehoods. Toni Tennille and her husband did not do drugs. And she looks very health to me.

They have a website. Google Captian and Tennille.

Shame on you...

Debra J.M. Smith
of
Informing Christians

Bag0fRats (1 week ago)

@InformingChristians Falsehoods ? I suppose you could tell the thousands that saw her perform in LA in the late 1980s that saw her drop her colostomy bag on stage are all lying and coincidentally made up the same lie. Oh, and all the morning radio shows must have lied too as well as all the callers who were joking about it.

InformingChristians (4 days ago)

@Bag0fRats

I never heard anything about it. And even if a situation happened that she had such a health issue, that would not mean that it was from drug use.

I never heard of her doing anything mean to anyone. Why go after her in such a hurtful way? It makes no sense. She has feelings too.

Debra...

Bag0fRats (3 days ago)

@InformingChristians how is pointing out a fact hateful ? She did drop her colostomy bag on stage in LA back in '89. Maybe you didn't hear because you live in the east or whatever. If you did live here you would have known about it because it was the joke of every morning radio show in the morning. so again, how is that hateful ? Please explain.

InformingChristians (3 days ago)

@Bag0fRats,

If that did happen, then it is very cruel that people would have joked about it. And it does not mean that she was on drugs.

Debra...

Bag0fRats (3 days ago)

@InformingChristians Cruel maybe, juvenile yes.

It seems that poor Debra--who I'm sure is a very nice, ordinary person--hasn't learned not to get lured into YouTube comments flame wars with people named "BagofRats".