STEP #1: All romance novel heroes have one thing in common. I don't care if you're a modern, dashing bush pilot from Alaska who specializes in making daring rescues, or if you're a sneering, seemingly heartless aristocratic bastard from 18th century France.
You must have powerful thighs. I guarantee you that if you find the paragraph which descibes the hero's physique (and there's always one, usually right at the beginning), it will say "His breeches clung to his powerful thighs." By an Act of Congress, this sentence must appear in all romance novels. Other acceptable adjectives include "well-muscled" and the like-- but the thighs must be mentioned!
What to do if you don't have powerful thighs? Acquire them, by any means necessary. If you don't have powerful thighs, to which breeches cling, you are doomed to be the secondary man who gets rejected in the end, or else the comic relief man who gets the second banana woman. You don't want a second banana woman, do you? No, you want feist. And feist, apparently, gravitates towards powerful thighs.
You are also advised to smolder.
1 comment:
Why is my brother reading romance novels?
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